she woke up with a sticky ear
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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