dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
