i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
