Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
