Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
