I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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