so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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