After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
