Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
