Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
