Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
