dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
