i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
