You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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