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• (561): View more from Florida

  So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?

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• (914): View more from New York

  We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.

  (254): View more from Texas

  He's majoring in Religion

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• (716): View more from New York

  it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.

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• (209): View more from California

  She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.

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• (818): View more from California

  Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."

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• (914): View more from New York

  When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?

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• (+07): View more from

  I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??

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• (786): View more from Florida

  we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.

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