direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I got inside last night via doggy door
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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