watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm getting married
To pizza
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
