I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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