What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
