I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
