A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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