I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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