How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize