i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
