if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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