STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I got inside last night via doggy door
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
