I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
