I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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