Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
