Betty ford says i'm here all night
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
