Buhtt sex?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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