id be glad to
even my farts smell like vagina
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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