i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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