We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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