if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
