youre lurking in front of me
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
