I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
