I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
