maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You are the jesus of drinking
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
