I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
