I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
