But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
tell your sister to shave her snatch
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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