wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
vagina is talking i cant
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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