it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
