Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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