I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
