This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Randomize
