the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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