There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
