Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
