I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
