so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
