She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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