At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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